


“A place of bottomless horror” (or: Eren reminisces)

by That_aussie_otaku_hermit



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Attack on Titan anime spoilers, Gen, Introspection, Reference to literature, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 09:37:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20562170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_aussie_otaku_hermit/pseuds/That_aussie_otaku_hermit
Summary: “The world, after all, was still a place of bottomless horror. It was by no means a place of childlike simplicity where everything could be settled by a simple then-and-there decision.”- Osamu Dazai, “No Longer Human.”Set during chapter 100 – “Declaration of War.”Attack on Titan is © Isayama Hajime and Kōdansha.





	“A place of bottomless horror” (or: Eren reminisces)

**Author's Note:**

> As soon as I read the line “a place of bottomless horror” from _“No Longer Human”_ my mind instantly turned to Attack on Titan, as I had recently been re-watching the series (for maybe the fourth time).

Nothing was simple, was it?

Eren knew that from the start, way back when he was a brat, oblivious to the world, but it didn’t make the fact any easier to swallow.

There was a time when he thought everything was simple–though, by the time he was old enough to consider such concepts, he already had an inkling the idea was untrue. He pushed the doubt to the back of his mind. He had to – for the sake of his sanity.

_“Kill all the Titans, and humanity can be free. Kill all the Titans, and no one would have to suffer at the hands of those monsters. Kill all the Titans, and maybe I and everyone I know can achieve happiness.”_

That was the mantra he repeated to himself every day. When everything seemed so simple.

Then, after graduating from the cadet corps, his world collapsed around him.

Eren himself was one of those “monsters”, given the ability by his father, Grisha, whom Eren _ate_ in order to obtain it_._ All Titans were in fact _humans,_ who had been transformed into the humanoid giants by a serum administered to them. Worse yet, there had been hundreds of others like him through history – some enlisted as young as six years old – to be “warriors” for Marley. His half-brother, Zeke, was one of them, having inherited what the Survey Corps had dubbed, “The Beast Titan”.

All for what? All so Marley could keep the Eldian race imprisoned on an island for the rest of eternity. Forever persecuted. Forever tormented. Forever oblivious to the outside world. It was cruelly ironic – Paradis Island was a living Hell.

Eren raised his gaze from the floor to look at Reiner – a man who Eren had once respected above all others, a man who Eren had considered to be a brother.

At one point, Eren despised him, with every fibre of his being. He would look into Reiner’s eyes and see nothing but malice and death. _‘How could he betray his comrades – people he’d trained and lived with for years? How could he slaughter all of those people? Does he feel no compassion?’_

But now, all Eren saw in those eyes was emptiness and exhaustion. Regret. Despair.

<strike>It was like looking into a mirror.</strike>

Eren knew, now, that nothing was simple. It never had been nor would be. There was always something else at play. Always another layer. Another perspective.

He looked back at his past self with a deep sadness – he knew so little, back then. With only a vague insight into the utter calamity that was to be his future, he pushed on, fuelled by vengeance. 

Now, he was driven by the cries of his people. The hundreds and thousands who had been senselessly slaughtered by Marleyans and Pure Titans alike. 

Eren breathed a sigh, rising to stand on wary legs. He closed his eyes, listening to the voice of Willy Tybur rallying the crowd of Marleyans outside, making his declaration of war against the Eldian race. 

Eren opened his eyes, turning to face Reiner once more. 

Reiner’s eyes are still watery. Still bordered with redness.

Eren offered his wounded hand. “Stand up, Reiner.”

The man does so, utterly perplexed.

“Nothing will stand in my way. I will get rid of every enemy in my path,” Eren says, beginning his transformation.

He could see terror dawning in Reiner’s eyes, now.

Eren stared into the depths of Reiner’s soul, taking one final moment to reminisce their cadet days. Then, channelling the fury of the Attack Titan, Eren transformed.

This world was truly a cruel one. A place where little girls see their parents murdered. A place where little boys become murderers. A place where little girls go hungry from neglect. A place where little boys are orphaned. 

A place of bottomless horror.


End file.
